I’m sharing some details on my experience in contracting PTSD from what I heavily suspect was an intentional weaponization of its psychological mechanisms (which I never could have predicted) as well as the ensuong medical response (or lack thereof—I remember saying to my therapist, quite hysterically, “I feel like I’m getting swallowed by the black hole at the center of the universe.” Her response was something along the lines of, “Well that’s nice, Cody. That’s it for our session today. See you next week?”)
I probably need to be the responsible adult in the room once again and educate everyone on the symptomatic overlap between severe untreated PTSD, that is left to intentionally fester and throb throughout ongoing criminal abuse (this overlapped with serious intimate partner abuse and criminal stalking for which I was forced to seek legal protection and a restraining order—however rather than responding to me the police either completely ignored my calls, and sent me texts saying they had called me back, or told me sob stories about how much they were also psychologically traumatized and I would be ok—when I had to go to the station in person to force a response).
Meanwhile, forced exposure to traumatic reminders every time I left my home led to isolation and resulted in community ostracism as inevitably the counter-accusations that I was somehow a dangerous knave left me even more vulnerable and isolated. Eventually while forcing myself into work every day I simply developed chronic migraines as my stress levels peaked out. I felt seriously like I was sustaining recognizable damage, in particular in my speech, as the threat of weaponization of my words and extraversion layered on a new complexity of isolation. I short, I was trapped, distraught, and being clearly railroaded by authorities, which made the entire situation unbearably terrifying and dark.
This was long before James Elmer Mitchell showed up—and he only did well after I had learned about the weaponization of psychology and started trying to overcome my silence by speaking on this openly.
For me, that was all the confirmation that I needed that I was being subjected to weaponized medicine, particularly in the field of psychology.
My solution, although I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG, was to reason that since I (a) already had a diagnosis for a chronic, debilitating lifelong illness that should have entitled me to basic medical treatment and social services for people suddenly disabled or struggling to adapt to chronic illness, whether I wanted them of not; and (b) I was only seriously handicapped by the REAL persistent threats in my external environment, which could cause immediate and uncontrollable emotional overwhelm (at my place of business for instance, where I had to learn to work out of sight to avoid breaking down crying at the sight of people); and (c) I was dealing with severe chronic migraines and newly formed speech impediments (I was truly rendered situationally mute, I could not even talk to close friends or loved ones about my experiences; and (d) I ended up essentially trapped in my short bus unable to leave for meaningful work or even recreation unless I was totally isolated in nature for OVER A YEAR—I ended up essentially rotting into my own home due to the severity of this untreated trauma; and (e) the chronic migraines persisted and even when I went for a CT scan I was told that nothing looked odd, so I was left essentially gaslit by the medical establishment into believing that there WAS NO REMEDY, legal, social, medical. or otherwise, for becoming suddenly MEDICALLY INCAPACITATED BY SEVERE PAIN, BOTH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL, CAUSED BY UNCONTROLLABLE FACTORS IN MY ENVIRONMENT; and (f) I had never seen or heard of anyone else having suffered to such unimaginable extents without remedies of law or medicine; that (g) I must have some other condition that explained a FURTHER, compounding factor, that would entitle me to some kind of social remedy or medical treatment (I was paying privately for medical costs although I had been working with the state health system); so (h) I deduced based on my symptoms that I MUST have some kind of preexisting neurological disorder; (i) that it was probably AuDHD because of (honestly the popularity of the diagnosis, although it felt sincere, but also) THE CLINICAL OVERLAP OF SYMPTOMS THAT IS PERHAPS, I THOUGHT, SIMPLY BETTER TREATED AS A NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER; so (j) I got tested and qualified on clearly asymmetrical grounds—for instance in my ADHD test, a computer program, I failed (a diagnostic flag) but was left SOBBING IN TEARS because of the PSYCHOLOGICALLY MANIPULATIVE AND INVASIVE NATURE OF THE TEST, which caused me to fail not because I was not capable of paying attention, but because I have been heinously victimized by psychological manipulation all throughout my life; and (k) in my facial recognition (ASD) test, the doctor (a Clinical Psychologist) asked me midway through if I though, essentially, that I was getting answers wrong because I COULD TELL THE MODELS WERE ACTING AND THE EMOTIONS WERE PERFORMATIVE—which not only seemed to me exactly why I was failing, it also seemed to be an indicator that this private doctor was somehow aware of my research into the role of performativity in human symbolic cognition; and that further (l) following a sense of releif in diagnosis, I was denied basic social and legal services to which I believed these newfound diseases which were supposed to have been present from birth (THEN WHERE WERE MY DIAGNOSES) would entitle me to—such as disability transportation and access accomodation (I truly could not leave my home with any regularity) and enhanced legal protections for violations of my property and basic civil liberties (the police instead weaponized my “disability” to belittle me further and offered absolutely no criminal consequences to repeated severe violations of my property and privacy (break ins, I had a car stolen and totaled that was followed by extreme intimidation and harassment, I was still being stalked and apparently slandered—although all my local community seemed to want to venture to me as a way of remediation was the profoundly baffling insistance that I GET A JOB AND GET TO WORK (I ran my own profitable small business and had licensed by provisional pro se patent to a million dollar music company—I did not feel the need to be otherly employed except that IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEAVE MY HOME WITHOUT SUFFERING THE MOST EXCRUCIATING IMAGINABLE PAIN—which was only amplified by some vague insistance that I was “just lazy, and everyone is traumatized…”; then (m) things escalated once again when I experienced a rash of crime and betrayals, and clear intimidation from police cruisers when I simply tried to find a place to fill water to survive my isolation—the Department of Health and Human Services, Adult Disability Services, and the Oregon State Civil Rights divisions for medicine and legal protection all refused to help me mediate or remedy losses from unbridaled criminality and bizarre, consistant harassment that forced me to carry pepper spray and a telescoping baton AT THE READY any time I dared to venture outside of my vehicle; and (n) there was clearly tampering with my medicine by the pharmacy itself, which I thought amounted to the staff being slight teetotallers, even though I am quite responsible and was always thoroughly timely about my medications as they were HELPING ME SURVIVE (they would anyone, I am afraid—scritinize me all you want, and I do feel defensive of my medical sovereignty and my maturity, thank you), until the pharmacy staff gave up on arbitrarily delaying my perscriptions and resorted to denying me them altogether, for no discernable reason whatsoever, which let me know I was in serious trouble; then (o) I was repeatedly denied any kind of procedural accuracy or competent treatment for these or any other “disabling conditions” including neurological or neuropsychological—yet most tellingly, I was refused ANY IQ ASSESSMENT OR COMPETENCY SCREENING, possibly in an attempt to render me into dependency and infantalize me, a gross indignity on top of all others I had already endured; and (p) I was very much aware, throughout all of this, that my ailments were simply circumstantial and ENVIRONMENTAL, and that I would be fine if I were simply given the benefit of standard treatments and protocols from the medical community and the social services of the state; (q) was (FINALLY, I CONCLUDE) to reason with authorities for MERCY ON MY HUMANITY BASED ON THESE MISDIAGNOSES AS A FINAL PLEA OF INNOCENCE AGAINST ANY POSSIBLE ALLEGATIONS, however false, paranoid, overblown, and misleading they may be—to keep including them as PRETEXTS OF OBVIOUS NONMALFEASANCE before I ever could have deduced that to do so SIMPLY RENDERED ME PARADOXICALLY VULNERABLE TO RENEWED ASSAULTS AND DENIALS OF MY BASIC DIGNITIES, with the false assumption that you would never get funding for treating someone who had just suffered from lifelong undiagnosed AuDHD—AND BEEN SUBJECTED TO THE MOST ADVANCED TORTURE—that you could never get funding for treating them as an ongoing “national security threat,” or liability or vulnerability whatsoever. That is THE WHOLE PRINCIPLE OF MEDICAL DISABILITY, especially with PTSD as a decisive factor—who could that person possibly hurt if all you have to do is show them a picture of a German Shepherd mix and they start bawling uncontrollably?
In any case—I’ve faced some wild recurrent allegations that I am neurodevelopmentally disabled RATHER THAN A VICTIM OF CIA TORTURE REGIMES DESIGNED TO DESTROY AN INDIVIDUAL, and I have been treated solely as the former when it suits those seeking to dispossess me of my rights and property, never when it provides me the benefit of basic protections of equality and fair access under the law, whatever the difficulty may be.
It IS NO COINCIDENCE, I don’t even deem it safe to “suspect” given the circumstances, that immediately following my neurological diagnoses I reveived a call from an intimidating stranger trying to discern my whereabouts, or rather insinuating that he knew me, where I worked, knew I wasn’t at work, and did know where I was—and he wanted to come find me immediately.
I had pepper spray in my pocket then, too.
And that was before I started filming yet-to-be-declassified drones AS A HOBBY I SUPPOSE. Between filling out applications to earn a certification to work with other people with PTSD in advanced treatments, or drafting theories on object relations and psychoanalysis—not that having people spying on you while you seek to define a theory on the origins of symbolic cognition is problematic at all. Not that this had any value, of course. Not that anyone would take advantage of someone who is already wounded, when their goal was complete destruction of all discernable signs of life and humanity—
Perhaps they were simply offended, a little emotionally stung, by the fact that I survived and alchemized something worrh living for out of it.
In any case, the drones and James Elmer Mitchell (I am now almost certain) were not on film because I was ever delusional, I am sorry to inform everyone.
This has been perfidy and torture, war crimes by the Company, from the very beginning—and gross misconduct, waste, and abuse from the state and from health professionals and oversight authorities.
I feel like everyone’s doctor and I’m not even allowed to diagnose myself—it’s pathetic.
Based on the internationalism of my case and the overlapping circumstances, I have to presume that exactly what we’re seeing is a paradigmatic regime of social / civilizational sanitization, of the under-classes and “medically infirm” in particular, as a kind of doomsday prepping for climate change being carried out between major oligarchs, national authorities, and international institutions.
The idea, I guess, being that AI can give us a “humane alternative” to economic and environmental degredation—through its use in secretly killing the poor.
The issue, for me, is that not only do I find this morally and feasibly repugnant (it’s simply the informations age Zyklon-B), I have better ideas, AND I appear to have been coerced into this class of undesirables (probably a certain threshold of interwoven criteria are needed to authorize complicity) through both long term covert attrition and medical malpractice (misdiagnosis).
The principle is absurd, but also apparently lethal—possibly vaguely construed as legal, through back door policy and denials of protects afforded by citizenship and/or the rule of law.
People shouldn’t forget how greedy and seemlessly inhumane the oligarchy can be. They’re probably thinking about how all these useless bodies are in the way of them collecting the gold and jewels and cash bonds in your safe, along with your mortgaged house and your second born daughter. The logistical issue (rather than just the delusional monstrosity of the idea) is, who do you sell gold and real estate to in a ghost town?
Your very acts corrode the value of the wealth you’re seeking to accumulate—unless all you want is a kind of global safe space cushioned by unbridaled aggression.
